Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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