You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
