Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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