420 ftw
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
