Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
