have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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