If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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