He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
