I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We need to get me chipped asap
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
