Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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