He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
