I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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