you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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