i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
