STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
