So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
