Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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