P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
