okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
