This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
