Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
