Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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