Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
