worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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