oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
