NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have peed in a lot of sinks
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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