is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
