Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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