Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize