Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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