My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
