My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
only if we run a train.
done.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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