do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You took a bar mat shot.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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