that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
