just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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