i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize