You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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