You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
