So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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