That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
