I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
