i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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