I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize