She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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