Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
