Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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