if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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