is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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