I'm drive I can fine osifer
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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