Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
