it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
