Umm I'm too high to move.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
