yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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