That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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