Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
