dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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