At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
